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                Why Family Hurt Is So Painful

It feels especially painful when our family members hurt us, it actually is more painful than when friends hurt us. We hold cultural beliefs that our family members will be there for us unconditionally- thats why when the damage is done it hurts so bad. Their manipulation, drama, neediness, criticism, jealousy, and other negative traits can drain you emotionally and make you feel bad about yourself. 

They do not take the time to offer you support or even ask you how you doing but they are the first ones to drag your name down in the gutters, instead of them been so proud of the person you want to become. You start pulling yourself away from them because you tired of been judged, you tired of all the gossiping behind your back, but that won't be enough for some of them.. They want to see you suffer, they want to see you sad. You start feeling numb around them and start having a no care attitude and when u do- they will turn everything on you- really sad. 
You cannot be yourself around them because the minute you turn your back there are talks about you, so what do we do, we rather turn to strangers.. The thing with family is that you cannot just cut ties with them, because there are family reunions etc and you will have to meet up with them. I have stayed away from a lot of family gatherings, trying to avoid these issues- even funerals.
I have been so disappointed by family members, involving me in things that I knew nothing about, my name always been dragged even though I live so far. My name always on their lips. 
I did a lot of thinking, and this may be because one thing for sure is that I will never change myself because they expect me to be this prim and proper girl. I am Chantal, I will always be Chantal, take me, leave me, I will remain been true to myself..
I woke up to a text this morning that boiled me so badly, but after speaking to a few people, I told myself that I should be glad that I am always on their lips. If they not speaking about you then what are you doing with your life.. My life has been their entertainment, and I will continue been their entertainment, but I play by my own rules. If you not paying my bills or putting food on my table then why should I care what you say...

One thing is for sure is that we need to remember that the wheels of justice do turn, you maybe having everything your heart desires - driving expensive car's, living in the biggest house, having money all the time and I maybe still living in my 2 bedroom flat that I work hard for on my own.. But one silly day you may need this "poor girl", "one silly day".

            Stick to been you, stay in your lane, Love yourself more and stay true...😘


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